


The Supreme Dildo

by monolorian



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben watches, Crack, Dildos, F/M, Kylo Ren has Fangirls, Masturbation, Post-TLJ, Rey is Jealous, Sex Toys, Then partakes, blowjob, but with some sincere undertones, canonverse, crackfic, everyone wants The Supreme Dildo, no beta - we die like women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:28:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monolorian/pseuds/monolorian
Summary: Rey hadn't intended to get The Supreme Dildo, but she still ends up doing so.She also hadn't intended to get supremely fucked, but ...
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 160





	The Supreme Dildo

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda cracky but also kinda serious ? Yeah. It's also my first time writing smut! Another virginity lost, whoop.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it!

Rey moans.

She rolls her shoulders and neck in an effort to release at least a little of the tension which had slowly but steadily grown into a constant ache that was now forever accompanying her. There ought to be way better company than this one, she thinks, but life wasn't kind like that she had come to learn.

Oh, how she had learned.

She had learned that life wasn't kind very early on. She had learned it, when her parents had abandoned her on Jakku, a godforsaken, sandy wasteland in which she had to spend most of her life, wasting and slaving away. She had climbed wreckages, crawled out of sandpits, fixed tools that were beyond repair, filled her belly with only gulps of air when she didn't get enough food to satiate her hunger. She had heckled with Unkar Plutt, fought and hidden away from other scavengers. She had looked at stars at night, at space ships flying in the dark vastness of space, had dreamed of a family, of water and islands.

And then she had been whisked away on an adventure. An adventure that had soon turned into a nightmare. She had found out she was gifted in the ways of the Force, and then had grown to hope that maybe she was special after all. The Resistance needed her, she ought to become a Jedi. And then her lightsaber broke and her almost-master died and everything fell apart on Crait. She had dared to dream and then watched that very same dream be crushed in a matter of weeks.

Serves her well, she thinks, she shouldn't have had hope in the first place.

And then there was also the thing about having her heart broken. Similarly fractured as the kyber crystal inside her saber. She stifles a sigh, as she pulls her hood a little tighter.

She had arrived on this planet last night, a planet that was under the control of the First Order. One that is furiously loyal to the Supreme Leader and is getting rewarded plenty for it. The First Order likes to invest in those that are loyal - it was certainly a good way to lure more planets into swearing that loyalty. And those that resist ... well, everyone knows what happens to those.

It's risky to walk around the busy marketplace, there were Stormtroopers scattered everywhere who might recognize her. At least she doesn't have to worry about any civilians recognizing her, Rey thinks, since there had never been an official bounty placed on her head. Or any other Resistance member for that matter. She thinks it to be curious, wouldn't that have been the obvious course of action? Set a fat, juicy bounty on each of their heads which will get them captured in no time. But nothing had happened. Instead, the First Order had announced it's victory over the pesky rebel movement and declared all Resistance members as dead.

Which was not true. And Ben – no - **Kylo** knew that. He had seen her get away with the others through their last shared Force-bond. So why would he just announce them dead? Poe figured it was a tactical move, a way to ensure that no one would think of searching for them and joining them. If there was no rebelling movement, then others wouldn't get any ideas about joining them. Their hopes would be squashed. And that made sense, she supposes. They were no real threat the way they were now, as long as no new people joined and their numbers remained meager and their resources almost drained. And with the Resistance still in hiding, they couldn't risk taking any big missions, nothing that would expose their whereabouts to the First Order or any of their sympathizers.

Or maybe this is just Kylo's way of telling her she is dead to him.

Rey starts chewing her middle finger and promptly stops once she realizes it. It was a habit from childhood, one she keeps having trouble letting go of. Every time she feels stressed or insecure the urge will arise. She feels both of those things right now.

Another dream that had been crushed in a matter of days. A dream about a brave, sword-wielding girl saving a long lost prince and bringing him back to the light.

But the prince hadn't needed saving, he had saved her instead. And then he had told her, he didn't even want her to save him. No, he wanted to rule in his evil master's stead, whose torn body had lain mere steps away from them, and he wanted her to do the same alongside him. The room had been on fire too. Oh, and he had told her she was nothing.

What an insensitive, rude, sad-looking nerf-herder.

She is nothing, but not to him.

Rey shakes her head and curses loudly, at which people turn to look at her like she has lost her mind. And she might as well have. She wishes she had, then she would be thinking mad thoughts instead of remembering how her shitty life had gone even more to shit in the span of a few weeks.

She doesn't want to think about how sad she feels or how lonely. She doesn't want to feel disappointed and rejected. She doesn't want to feel restless and stressed. She doesn't want to miss a man who stands for the very thing she is fighting against. Doesn't want to think about the way his hands looked as they beseeched her to join him.

But it's hard not to think about those things when you're surrounded by First Order propaganda playing on every screen and blasting through every speaker. Hard not to think of him when the First Order symbol and pictures of the new, masked Supreme Leader are scattered everywhere.

Rey pulls her hood even tighter, obscuring most of her vision.

 **Good**.

She is about to meet with a Resistance contact who supposedly knows a thing or two about fixing Lightsabers. Maz had arranged the meeting, and days later here Rey was, putting all her hope into this stranger and walking right into enemy territory. If he won't be able to fix her saber, she will probably punch him in the face. And maybe give him a good kick to the groin. It's not very Jedi-like, but she isn't a real Jedi yet anyway, so who cares.

Can't be a Jedi without a lightsaber, a master, and no understanding of the Jedi Texts. Ha.

He better know **something** , or else she's really going to lose it.

Rey leaves the main street and instead follows a string of tight, smaller passages. These are definitely leading to the seedier parts of town, but since those were lesser frequented, she hopes there will also be lesser security presence. It's a good idea, to arrange a meeting in this area. It's safer. Fewer eyes and fewer ears.

Still, Rey feels uneasy. Not because of the drunkards, she has plenty of experience with those from countless encounters with their kind back on Jakku. Drunks don't scare her, she pities them. People become drunks when they lose hope when they see nothing good left for their future and see no other way to cope with it except by being incoherent.

She conveniently avoids thinking about her own feelings of hopelessness while thinking about theirs.

No, it was the armada of Sex Shops. And women. Women dressed provocatively, luring men into establishments that promise the fulfillment of certain desires. Shops selling all sorts of items related to sexual activities. Rey isn't naive, but she also isn't experienced enough to remain cool faced while confronted with such visuals. Jakku didn't have flashy signs and voluptuous women exploding out of their garments. Jakku was dry and gritty, everyone was starved and sometimes drunks tried to get handsy and people fucked hidden away behind heaps of metal garbage. And that was it.

Rey can feel her neck and shoulders grow tense and stiff again, she really needs to learn to relax, she thinks. So what if these women are very half nude out in the open and there are posters scattered everywhere with naked people on them? She moves her head, from one side to the other, hoping to get some relief, to stretch those tense muscles, while slowly getting used to her unusual surroundings.

In the middle of her movement, she catches sight of another poster.

A poster that is so big, it's taken up the whole window of the display of the shop. Another sex shop. The blinking sign shows neon legs closing and spreading again and again. Below it says “cum in”. It's gross and stupid, Rey thinks, but only for a second because it's the poster that catches her attention the most.

The background is dark red, dangerous flames are everywhere. And a big, intimidating figure is standing in the midst of it. The figure is dressed completely in black, a shiny cape is covering it's broad shoulders. It's hands are gripping a bright red crossguard Lightsaber and a black and red helmet covers the figure's real face. He's unmistakable.

It's Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren on a poster.

That is nothing new, she has seen plenty of posters that portrayed him. He has built quite a following in the last months. But this one is different. Very different.

In front of Kylo, taking up most of the space in the poster is a dildo.

A big and thick dildo. It's color is the black of Kylo's helmet. It is marred with veins, an attempt to make it look more realistic. The veins are a bright red, somehow mimicking the cracks in his mask. The poster is filled with slogans like “Join the eXXXtra dark side”, “XXL in size and passion”, “let him conquer your galaxy” and above all of that in big, bright red and bold letters “THE SUPREME DILDO”.

This is it. She **must** have indeed lost her mind. In her loneliness and misery, she has conjured an absurd fantasy in which she thinks up the image of a big, black, and red-veined Supreme Dildo.

But then she sees a group of girls standing in front of the poster, giggling and elbowing each other.

“I wish he would slay me.” One says, causing the others to giggle even harder.

“Same, girl. I wish he would split me in half with his saber - if you know what I'm saying.”

“Ugh, same. I mean look at his hands, they are so damn big. I wish he would slap me across the galaxy with those big paws.”

“Like, there's no way his supreme dick isn't at least as big as The Supreme Dildo. Someone powerful enough to conquer the whole galaxy, can't have a small dick."

  
“How I would love to be supreme fucked by him!”

Another round of giggles erupts, as the girls make their way into the Sex Shop, obviously and overly eager to get their hands on The Supreme Dildo.

Rey feels like she might have popped a blood vessel in her eye, there is a stinging there and she can feel it twitching.

She immediately follows the girls inside, all thoughts of fixing her Lightsaber erased from her mind, as if someone has secretly Jedi mind tricked her.

Even when he's not near her, he's messing with her mind. She whispers curses at him while approaching the shop. In front of the door, she takes a breath, then reaches for the doorknob and stops. Then takes another breath and finally forces herself inside.  
  
The shop looks surprisingly neutral on the inside, unlike it's flashy exterior. Rey supposes that it does take some extraordinary decorations to draw customers in, especially while being surrounded by competing shops.  
  
A bored-looking woman sits at the counter, reading a book while completely ignoring both the group of girls and Rey. The shelves are filled with all kinds of toys and tools, all aimed to pleasure different types of species. Or kinks.  
  
Rey tries to not focus too much on any of that.

Instead, she follows the group as inconspicuously as one can, while being the only other person in the room, and standing way too close to people you aren't at all acquainted with. She pretends to be interested in the thing closest to her while eavesdropping, which just happens to be... butt plugs. Big butt plugs. **Great**.  
  
The girls talk in hushed tones while Rey acts particularly interested in a butt plug with a fake Loth Cat tail attached.

“Ah! Here it is!”

“Move! Let me see!"

“There is enough for all of us, girls. Relax.”  
  
“You think this was modeled after the real one?” One cackles.

“What? Do you think the Supreme Leader would have time for people to take the measure of his cock? Please, he is busy conquering the galaxy, he wouldn't have the time for something as stupid as this.”

“Girl, your Supreme Leader boner is showing.”

“I'm just stating facts!”  
  
“You're fangirling so hard.”  
  
“Never mind that, as long as it works I don't care much about his size-” Another one chimes in.

“Oh, I'm sure it works.” One interrupts.

“-what I would rather know is what he looks like under that mask. Do you think he's human? I've heard rumors that he is.”  
  
“I've heard rumors that he is an immensely handsome human male! And that he can use the Force better than anyone else ever could. You think he could use those powers for anything else but killing?”

“Maker, I wish he would force choke me.”

Laughter erupts while Rey's face heats, not out of embarrassment but out of anger. How dare they talk so casually about Ben's … private parts?!! It's none of their business what he looks like under his clothes or his mask! She knows what he looks like, and she is sure none of those girls have any semblance of an idea what his features are actually like. They probably imagine some princely hunk! But Ben's nose is too big and his face too pale and long! She doesn't want to think of her own reaction to first seeing his face and how the reaction of those girls might align with her own. That they might appreciate his lips and eyes the same way she does.  
  
“You have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Hmpf! Of course I do, I've been choked plenty of times, what would be the difference?”  
  
“The difference is that an incredibly powerful man would be doing it and not your elderly neighbor's son, who at most has maybe once killed a fly. And maybe not even that.”  
  
“Imagine the most powerful man in the galaxy pounding into you. I'm weak from just imagining it.”

Rey is imagining it, involuntarily, spurned on by the girl's chatter. It isn't the first time she does so either. It isn't the first time she recalls the memory of his upper body, the way his pale, big chest shone under the stark light of his rooms. His sheer size, looming over her in the elevator, while his eyes reflected a softness she had never before been at the receiving end of in her entire life. His warm, rough hands, as they touched hers across the expanse of lightyears. It isn't the first time she thinks about how **it** might be with a man that exudes such hardness, whose presence is so intense. A man who gazed at her with desperation reflecting in wet eyes, and longing so strong she could feel it pull at her through the Force. Pull her towards him.

Is he really as big as these girls assumed he was? Rey hasn't seen a lot of penises but had enough imagination to think up what Ben's might look like. What would it feel like to have his big arms caging her in, maybe even holding her in place as -

What the fuck is she doing?!  
  
She shakes her head viciously, abruptly throwing the butt plug into a corner where it collides with the floor with a loud sound. She marches into the group, which has by now looked up and towards her, pushing and shoving the girls away that are responsible for this dumb slip of mind! She takes one of the black and red boxes that contained one of the Supreme Dildos and makes a run for the exit while ignoring the shocked shrieks behind her. She mumbles a quick “You don't need me to pay for this,” to the cashier, and is out of the shop within seconds.  
  
She runs around a corner, finds a spot where she can inconspicuously hide the object under her clothes. The thing is definitely not small, roughly the size of a Lightsaber handle. Once done Rey sighs and takes a look towards the bright blue sky above her.

“Shit.”

-

The meeting with the informant had been a waste of time. His information was so outdated, Rose had already collected it on one of her missions two months ago. She had risked being exposed and imprisoned for nothing. The only upside was indeed that she had not been found out and had instead made it out of there safe and sound.  
  
There is another upside to it.  
  
She stares at it while sitting on her bed, feet on the ground, and elbows resting on her shins. Her face is as tense as the rest of her body.  
  
She can't do this. They have broken things off, both heading in different directions in life. Not only that, but she is part of a group that is working towards his demise and the destruction of his rule. He is currently probably looking to find and kill her.  
  
He could have been with her if he had wanted to! She had come to get him, hadn't she?! And he denied her, instead insisted they rule together as some kind of evil overlord and overlord..ess?? What had he thought? That she would just watch the Resistance be destroyed and her friends die?  
  
He had made his choice, and so had she.

She definitely can't do this.  
  
And yet …

And yet she wants to.  
  
She is stupid enough to want to. Stupid enough to miss their connection, however short-lived it had been. To miss him. And to still think about a chest that she has only seen once but whose image is still forever locked inside her head.  
  
She's going to do it.  
  
She gets up and locks her door, not keen on anyone walking in.  
  
There is no harm in this, right? She is a young woman with needs, what difference does it make whether she uses her fingers or this dildo. She imagines her own fingers to be his most of the time anyway. Sometimes she would even put on a glove to make it feel particularly authentic.  
  
So what if it looks like his mask? It's still only a toy. It doesn't mean anything. She is just a young woman with a sex drive and with nobody to ease those frustrations with. This is perfectly natural. Who she thinks about doesn't mean anything! It could be anyone. Finn, Poe, Snap.   
  
Except she never thinks about them and only ever thinks about Ben-

Kylo!  
  
Shit, she is so screwed. She knows it, even when she denies it. But if she is screwed already anyway, might as well get some fun out of it.  
  
She takes the box and rips it open, scavengers don't care about glossy packaging, they don't care to open things carefully. She wants what's inside and she is intent to get right to it.  
  
The thing is huge.  
  
She has never used anything this big. But Rey isn't anything if she isn't stubborn and determined. Sometimes she feels like her stubbornness and determination are the very things she is made of, instead of blood and bones.  
  
Hopefully, she will soon also be made of pure bliss.  
  
A few steps and Rey is lying in her bed, on her back. She puts the dildo next to her and wriggles out of her pants. She has to prepare first, there is no way she will be able to work this thing inside herself if she isn't as aroused as is physically possible.

Rey doesn't masturbate often, she is either always busy with some kind of responsibility or surrounded by others on a small ship with no privacy. But today she is back at the base, in her own rooms and for once nobody has been intent on crowding her space. She is alone.  
  
It's now or never.  
  
Well, not **never** but at least not very soon.  
  
She closes her eyes, making it easier to imagine herself somewhere else, **with** someone else. She thinks about Anch-To and the warm fire inside the hut she had stayed in. She remembers the flames dancing across the walls and the dampness of her hair at her neck. She remembers the coarseness of the blanket she had been half covered in and the softness and longing in Ben's eyes as he had stared at her. She tries to focus on what his hand had felt like when they touched. They had been somewhat rough, but not as rough as hers. Probably because he remembers to always wear his gloves and to protect his skin - unlike her.  
  
So she imagines her hand to be a little softer and larger than it really is as she traces her own belly. She imagines Ben's hand grabbing her wrist and sharply pulling her towards him until she is sprawled on top of him. And then him pulling her onto his lap, where he is then proceeding to push his hand under her shirt.  
  
She stays there for a moment, in her head, trying to match her thoughts with the movement of her own hand.  
  
He would keep gazing at her with that tender look in his eyes, while his hand would then slowly travel up to her breasts. He would gently trace their shape, then test their small weight in his palm. He would softly kiss her with him plump lips while pinching her nipple slightly.  
  
Because he would be mean like that. He was always mean, even when he was good.  
  
Even when he told her how much she meant to him.  
  
He had still been mean, even while uttering those words.  
  
_“You're nothing. But not to me.”_  
  
Her own hand squeezes and pinches her breasts, while the other one wanders down between her legs. She gently circles her clit and sees herself doing so in his lap. She imagines his deep voice whispering filthy words in her ear, telling her how to touch herself and pinching her whenever she failed to do exactly as he told her to. She imagines gazing into his face, now illuminated by the warm firelight. He looks more alive like this. He looks the way he felt to her when their bond would connect them. Warm, hot, burning. Like lava, like fire. Destructive and relentless. Comforting, illuminating.  
  
Just like she felt now.  
  
In this fantasy he urges her to go faster, to first put one, then another finger in. He praises her for being so good for him, praises her for the wetness that can be heard with every movement between her legs.

She is starting to pant and can feel her release close, can feel herself climbing that mountain higher and higher.  
  
It's always like this when she imagines him, always quicker and more intense than when she doesn't. But it's never **this** intense. Something about the incident in the sex shop left her imagination uninhibited, not holding back the way she usually would, not suppressing her desires at all. It is as if she is trying to claim him with this fantasy as if her masturbating to thoughts of him would make it known to everyone that they have no right to think of him.  
  
**Only she does.**  
  
It is at that thought that she reaches her peak and falls off of it at the same time. She is sent flying into an endless abyss - her toes curl, her eyes squeeze even tighter and a desperate groan that she can't hold back tears itself from her throat. Except it does end way too soon for Rey's liking.  
  
She is still lying on the bed, as sweat sticks to her skin, the sheets feel too hot underneath her and she feels completely drenched between her legs.  
  
Which is when she remembers why she is doing this in the first place. She reaches for the dildo that is still lying to her right and opens her eyes, taking a moment to adjust to the dim light in her room. Once her vision clears, her heartbeat accelerates alarmingly at the sight before her.

Right in front of the foot of her bed stands Ben.  
  
He is staring right at the spot where she has just touched herself, her legs still wide open and shaking, still experiencing the aftermath of her orgasm. His face is carefully blank, unmoving, except for the press of his lips and a slight movement in his jaw. His face never was the most expressive, she thinks, facial muscles just barely moving and when they did it was only under the complete loss of self-control. His hands are tightly clenched at his side with … Rey doesn't know with what, his mental walls still securely guarding his feelings and mind despite their current connection.  
  
She gasps and squeezes her legs shut, moving to get up into a sitting position.  
  
“Ben-”  
  
At that, his gaze snaps up to meet hers, and it becomes very clear to Rey that the reason his fists are clenched is because of his attempted restraint. He is trying to maintain that self-control that is always such a slippery slope for him. His face is often an unmoving mask, but his eyes are always an open book, blatantly showcasing all his emotions for everyone to see.  
  
It's probably why he is still clinging to that stupid think of a mask.   
  
There is a storm raging behind those eyes, waves crashing and swallowing everything around them and he is trying hard to contain them.  
  
But how did he get here? She had been trying so damn hard to keep him out, only failing at two other instances after the disaster that had been the Battle of Crait, but those were weeks ago. Why did the bond connect them now of all times?! She didn't need to have him bear witness to her pleasuring herself!

Well, maybe it was exactly because of that. She hadn't been focused on much else besides her fantasies in the last couple of moments.

And how much had he seen anyway?

Hot shame finally catches up to her, washing away the initial shock of seeing him there watching her, always watching her, and giving new life to her shaky limbs. Flaming anger responds to shame's call and she feels it burn brightly in her cheeks. She glares at him, accusation shining in them, way before she even speaks the words.  
  
“How **dare** you?!” She growls, doing what she does best whenever she feels overwhelmed - let anger do the talking.  
  
“You called for me.” He responds, his tone calm but the tension inside him creeping out with every clipped syllable. He almost sounds incredulous. The gall! He feels incredulous? He has no right to when it is him who just barged in on her at her most private and vulnerable. How dare he show up the moment she finally gave in and let her fantasies have her. How humiliating.

“I did no such thing!”

“Yes, you did. You called for me, and it felt urgent so I-” He pauses, his eyes widening a fraction and his lips part as if in realization. “You called for me while you were-”  
  
Rey shoots up to her legs and throws her only pillow at him, not wanting him to finish that thought or sentence. It hits him square in the chest instead of going through him. They both take a moment to look at each other, both acknowledging the strengthening of the bond, acknowledging that he is somehow really physically here with her.  
  
And vulnerable.  
  
She notes the absence of his lightsaber on his body and quickly turns around, darting a hand towards where she knows her staff lay. The object moves swiftly but not fast enough, as Ben immediately pushes it away from her. The staff collides with a wall, then lands on the floor with a sound.  
  
Rey swirls back towards him, her fist immediately swinging towards him, intent on colliding with the big target that is his nose. But before her small fist comes even close his larger palm already catches it, completely encircling it. She is far from done though, the feral thing she is. Already she has her knee raised to connect it with his gut and succeeds in her attempt to land a hit. A grunt leaves his tightly closed lips before he grabs the back of that knee, lifts her entire body to throw her off balance and has her crashing with her back onto the bed. He follows her quickly, throws himself atop her, his forearms prevent him from crushing her as they connect first with the mattress and keep his upper body off of her. But both of their chests collide for a moment as the suspension of the mattress pushes her right back up and into him, knocking the air out of both of them for a second. She claws at his face, kicks, and punches him. All the frustration that had accumulated over the past months was now unleashing at this very moment.

She has had so much hope in him. She has hoped he would come to her side, be with her, and stay with her. Has hoped that for once somebody would stay with her. Has hoped that for once she was enough. That it would not end up with ships flying off into the sky and leaving her on the ground bawling and screaming.  
  
Rather than her, he had chosen some fantasy about ruling the galaxy. Except it isn't a fantasy, is it? He is now the Supreme Leader of the First Order and has with that sealed their fate, sealed them to remain enemies forever. Or at least until one of them died. Because that **is** now their fate, fight until one of them will be brave enough to push their saber through the other.  
  
She doesn't know if she ever will be.  
  
And she hates him for it, every fiber in her being wants to hurt him the way he hurt her. Wants to make him feel what she had felt when she had left his side and returned to the Resistance. The heaviness she carries in her heart ever since, the same heaviness that makes her do dumb shit like buy a Supreme Dildo.  
  
He grabs both of her wrists and pushes them above her head. He pushes his hips onto hers, keeping her as still as he can without crushing her. His gaze is still wild but by now a softness has crept back into it, a softness she has thought about moments ago while still caught up in her own fantasies. A gaze that is still so warm, even without the flames of a small fireplace reflecting in it.  
  
They are both panting and it is only after several moments pass that he asks “Are you done yet?” His voice is still that deep murmur, sending shivers down her spine and some other places. There is no hostility in his tone, if anything it seems like understanding laces the words. A tone an adult might use to soothe a child after they hurt themselves, a tone that suggested they knew how much it hurt.  
  
She almost cries but instead, she shoves the emotion down and once again starts thrashing against him, to which he responds by keeping his hold steadily on her until she has vented enough and completely ceases her resistance.  
  


It is only after she is calm that he resumes talking.

“You thought of me-”

“I did not!”  
  
“You **did**.” He almost seems awed, disbelieving that she would spare a thought on him. As if he has wished she would think of him but hasn't really dared to hope so. Like she could have simply forgotten him and the connection they had shared, however brief it had been. As if her anger isn't just a product of her heartbreak.  
  
She stops denying it, it is of no use. He knows.  
  
But the way he keeps staring at her is starting to unnerve her and she is still not wearing any pants or underwear while lying underneath him. This whole experience feels emotionally and physically overwhelming. She doesn't know whether to seize the moment and pull him closer or to free herself and make a run for it.  
  
She can see it in his eyes, now that her own emotions were no longer clouding her vision as viciously as they were before, she can feel it under the fragile hold he now has over his mental walls – he has missed her. He still feels that scorching flame of affection for her, he was shaking with the need to keep her close to him.

And so was she.

The air around them shifts noticeably, both their desires a mirror. The desire for connection, the desire for closeness, the desire for more.

“You shut me out.”

“I did.”  
  
“Why? When it's clearly not what you really want.”  
  
“Sometimes we have to do things we do not really want.”

“Do we?” He releases one of her wrists, his hand slowly tracing down her arm, a trail of goosebumps following his lead.

“Not all of us are free to do whatever we want, some of us have orders to follow and not the luxury of being the one to give them.”  
  
He huffs out a silent laugh, the air kissing her cheek. “I don't remember you being particularly good at following orders.” His nose brushes her cheek as he turns his head and dips it closer to her ear. “Did anyone order you to block me out?” He asks and then acts like her stony silence doesn't bother him at all, probably because he knows the answer anyway. “You didn't tell anyone, did you?” He murmurs and she turns her head away from him. No, she hadn't told anyone about their connection. There was nothing to be told about it anyway. That was the reason. Right?  
  
“You could have been the one giving orders too. I offered you to be at my side, to stay with me. An offer which you had refused and instead moved to pull your weapon from my hand.” His breath is tickling her ear, his hand now resting against her side, gently holding her ribcage and moving with each of her shallow breaths. “You left, blocked me out. You chose the enemy's side. I had the sole solace of knowing you hadn't tricked me, that such a ruse was not within your capabilities. To fake something like this would have been impossible, the fact that the bond persists, despite Snoke's death proves that. So at least I knew that however short-lived, your feelings had been real. Even if you ended up hating me.”  
  
He raises his head, moving it to again look into her eyes, always trying to read her, see her.

“Do you? Hate me?” He asks.

The question hangs in the stifling air between them, gravity somehow feeling heavier here than it ever did anywhere else.  
  
Her head turns back towards him, their faces so close she can see the different flecks of green and brown in his eyes even in the dim light. Her tone is mellow and feverish at the same time.  
  
“I do. I hate you so much I can barely think about anything else but you. So much that somehow every thought leads me back to you and that I have to keep fighting myself over it.”

That's what hate is, right?  
  
His tone matches hers when he responds.

“You do?” A sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff leaves his lips. “I hate you too.” A whisper. A pause. Then-

“If I hated you a little less I might have been able to not let you go and be free. If I hated you less I might have been able to instead hunt you down and keep you my prisoner. If I hated you a little less I might have just come here for real and dragged you out of this pathetic room and into my bed, no matter your protests or your wishes.”  
  
That's what hate is, right?  
  
It's all too much, Rey thought, she couldn't be blamed for her next actions, right?  
  
She leans up and crashes her lips to his, desperately pushing them against his as everything inside her feels like rubber bands snapping.

He responds eagerly and growls into her mouth as her tongue pushes for entrance. He still holds himself at a distance above her and Rey hates it, she wants him to crush her with all his weight, just like he is always crushing her with his relentless presence in her soul and mind. She wants all of him on her, around her and inside her. Now.  
  
Her free hand pulls at his tunic, urging him closer. Her legs spread and circle his waist, wanting to make him her prisoner for once. Fear of him leaving grips her, however irrational the desire for him to stay is. She wants more.  
  
But he seems to have other plans and her chest constricts when he indeed gently frees himself of her and moves to stand. Is this his payback for her leaving him abroad The Supremacy? Will he just leave her lying here after she has, albeit not verbally, still physically admitted her feelings?  
  
As if sensing her distress he starts to speak, his gaze still warm and hot and stormy. He points to the dildo at her right.

“Use it.”  
  
“What?” She asks, somewhat stupidly. She has completely forgotten about the thing and is horrified by his awareness of it. Does he know why it looks the way it does? Does he know it is crafted to his likeness and that that is the reason she got it in the first place?  
  
“I want you to use it.” His tone is becoming slightly more demanding at her response. “I thought you were so good at following orders?”  
  
“You can't expect me to-”  
  
“It's what you were going to do anyway, wasn't it? While you were thinking of me.”  
  
She feels another surge of heat rush to her face and chest. She is positive her face is glowing red by now.  
  
“So what? You're just going to leave me here after humiliating me-”

“I want to watch.”  
  
**Oh**.  
  
“But-”

“Do it, Rey.”  
  
Her name on his lips does funny things to her insides and she can't help but reach for the dildo.  
  
She could block him out after this. She would have this one moment and then she would block him out and never have to face the reality of what she is about to do. Just this once she wants to forget that they are back to being enemies.  
  
She holds the dildo in her hands, insecurity written all over her face.  
  
“Lick it.”

“What?” She swears mentally at her stupid questioning. She can barely think right now, all blood and common sense seem to have left her brain.

“You need to lubricate it. Lick it.”  
  
“I think I'm wet enough.”

“I can see that,” He takes a deep breath at that. “But still. Do it for me.”  
  
So that's what it is, he wants to watch her lick the thing. She sees an opportunity to turn this thing around and tease him the same way he seems to be intent to tease her. He doesn't want to do it himself but instead watch her pleasure herself? Fine.  
  
She will give him a show.  
  
Rey leads the dildo right up to her kiss-swollen lips, her gaze all the while fixed on Ben. His eyes are glued to her lips, his throat bobs in anticipation, betraying that he might be just as nervous as she is, despite his demanding attitude. Does he have some kind of oral fixation? She rubs the tip of the object against her lips, her lips forming into a small smile at his frustration.

“Rey...” He admonishes her as his eyes fix her with a look of displeasure. Displeasure won't do, she thinks and darts her tongue out to give the dildo a good, generous lick.  
  
He turns silent at that.  
  
She keeps lavishing the thing with her attention, her eyes never leaving his as she licks every part of it, occasionally giving the tip an enthusiastic suck, all the while imagining it was his cock.  
  
“I'd much rather have this be your cock.” She gasps out after releasing the object from her mouth with a wet sound.  
  
“Really?” He murmurs as if not really hearing her at all, all of his attention solely focused on her mouth covered in her own spit.  
  
She sucks the tip again while nodding and this time pushing it further into her mouth, an act that has Ben hissing silently. He seems to like that, she thinks. She can see his erection pushing against his pants.  
  
It is after a few more sucks and licks that he clears his throat and then speaks, his voice sounding significantly raspier than before.

“That is enough.” His throat bobs. “Now fuck yourself with it.”

Rey almost chokes at his blunt choice words, dildo still in her mouth. She gathers her wits quickly enough and asks. “Why won't you do it?”  
  
“I want to watch you.”  
  
“But why?”

A moment passes, this time around he seems to be carefully contemplating his words, instead of giving her the blunt truth. How unusual.  
  


“I want to watch you so that I can see the way you like to take yourself. That way, when I finally have you, I'll know exactly the way you like it.” He cocks his head slightly to the side. “Now be a good girl and follow orders.”  
  
She can hear the smugness in his voice, the challenge. Part of her delights in it, gets more aroused by it and another part wants to throw the dildo in his face. She chooses the former and goes along with his **request**.  
  
She widens her legs further and relaxes, it won't work if she remains so tense. He shamelessly looks right between her legs and she can see his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. The sight gives her the last bit of bravery she needs to actually go through with this.  
  
She places the dildo at her opening, gently nudging it between her lips before slowly pushing it in.  
  
Fuck, the thing was so big.  
  
Ben doesn't seem too impressed with the object's size and the implication of that in and of itself makes Rey feel butterflies in her stomach. She keeps going, the soft sound of it entering her wetness makes Ben take a deep breath, his chest expanding so much that she wonders how a human male could be so big. Her insides clench around the dildo, gripping it's size desperately and she imagines it was his cock. Imagines it was him slowly pushing inside her and then out, only to push in again, this time even deeper. She repeats that motion slowly, the sounds not embarrassing her when she sees what they are doing to Ben. He might not be doing much besides looking, but she knows him. She knows where to look to see the way this situation is affecting him as well. She can see it in his fists, his twitching jaw, his slightly opened mouth, the depth of his breathing, the molten lava in his eyes. Ben is trying to hide it, but he is as affected as she is.

And boy, is she affected.  
  
Her breaths are pants by now, her arm cramping with the repetitive motion which increases in pace with each passing moment. She tries her best, but she isn't able to fuck herself quite as hard as she would like to - the position is awkward, her arms too short. This definitely isn't as easy as she hoped it would be. She wishes he would just give in and plow into her. She wishes he would fuck her so hard that she wouldn't be able to walk for days.  
  
She doesn't know if her desperate and fast movements are giving him any hints about her misery, her thoughts definitely are not, both of their shields still up and protecting any kind of information either might use against the other. There will not be any mind-reading today, she thinks, only communication and reading of body language.  
  
Ben does seem to sense her urgency as he moved towards her. Her heart skips a beat in excitement, but he shakes his head as she stops her ministrations.

“Keep going.”  
  
Instead of positioning himself at her hips as she had expected him to, he swings his legs over her midsection and shifts up until he is just below her face, where he kneels over her. He moves to free his cock out of it's confines and it springs out enthusiastically.  
  
It looks nothing like the Supreme Dildo and Rey feels joy at that. Feels joy because those girls will never know what his cock really looks like. It isn't as harsh and veiny as the dildo. It is soft and pink and smooth, even slightly thicker than the dildo. The head is shining with precum and she feels herself grow thirsty for it.  
  
At least they got the length somewhat right, Rey amends.  
  
The sight distracts her for a moment and he moves to gently cup her face.

“For now the rule is you can't just have part. If you want one thing, you will also have to take the other. If you stop fucking yourself, I will leave. You will take both or nothing.” His voice is strained, he swallows as he looks down at her as if just the sight of her below him is already too much for him to handle. His erection **does** look painfully hard.  
  
She nods and keeps working the dildo inside herself, while she lifts her head towards his cock. She starts at his base and licks up towards his tip in one smooth motion, just as she had done with the dildo. He groans. She has never heard him groan like this, and it does funny things to her insides.  
  
She wants to hear it more.  
  
Still, with her lips pursed at the tip of his penis, she proceeds to open her mouth and take the tip inside her mouth, gently sucking the precum off him. He hisses and moans both, and she does it again. She takes him deeper and bobs her head in synch to the movement of her hand, still working the dildo. Rey sucks him eagerly, her tongue pressed flat against him and her upper lip hides her teeth, delighting in every little and big sound she can coax out of him. He can act like he is the one in power all he wants to, but the way she has him wrapped around her little finger right now, makes her feel like she is the one actually in charge.  
  
He groans as she takes him as deep as she can and pulls himself out of her mouth, holding her face gently in place when she moves to take him in again.

“You are-” He begins but stops himself abruptly.

She is what? What?! Whatever it is he thinks of her, she wants to hear it.  
  
But before she can ask he has already moved from above her and is now kneeling at the foot of the bed, right between her legs. He frees her hand from the dildo and now penetrates her with it in her stead, keeping the pace she had set before. His eyes are fixed on her face, watching every reaction that flickers through her, absorbing it like two black holes sucking her in.  
  
And suck her in he did. As soon as the thought passes her mind, he goes and puts his luscious mouth on her clit and works her so hard, she is sure he must be using the force. Her eyes are locked on him, unwilling to look away despite the stars dancing in her vision. Watching the way he practically feasts on her and keeps working The Supreme Dildo inside her. If the sensations haven't already been enough to send her over the edge, then the sight of him between her legs is. Her thighs are shaking and she is gasping for air, breathlessly asking him to stop, pushing his head away, while he still keeps working her, prolonging her orgasm as much as possible.  
  
Her leg twitches still, even as the waves of pleasure calm, and he finally releases her. He frees her of the dildo and throws it to the ground. His hands move to remove his tunic and then the shirt below it. Rey feels exhausted but at the same time so eager for what was to come.  
  
Finally.  
  
The last piece of his clothing finally hits the floor and with it, any sort of doubt Rey might have had about whether to really go through with this.  
  
He is so beautiful.  
  
His chest is still pale and wide, his shoulders and arms as massive as she remembered. His legs are long and defined. Moles scatter all over his body, constellations she hopes she will get to discover thoroughly.  
  
His cock is still hard and ready.  
  
He moves towards her, gently nudging her shirt upward, ridding her of it and leaving her finally completely nude. He immediately lowers his head to her breasts and leaves open-mouthed kissed all over them. He moves to suck on one nipple while pinching the other – just like she had imagined he would.

His hands are everywhere: Her stomach, her ribs, her back, her thighs, her shoulders, her neck, her face. She feels him all around her, physically and in the Force. Both their shields are now rendered meaningless against the growing strength of their bond, accelerating with each passing moment of shared intimacy. They are both stripped of everything and in turn, rewarded with a closeness that felt unlike anything else.

It is scary and wonderful.  
  
His mouth moves towards her throat, she feels him gently bite her as he rubs his cock against her hip and she can't help the moan that escapes. She doubts she will still have a voice tomorrow with all the moaning and groaning she has been doing ever since he showed up. Her throat still feels hoarse from the blowjob she has given him, but he kept pulling sounds out of her as if he knew exactly which buttons to press and she was helpless against it.  
  
He stops his ministrations at her throat and faces her, his hand now gently resting against her cheek. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to, she can feel everything he feels, can sense his every thought. The truth of it all reflects in the softness and warmth of his eyes, a mirror to her own.  
  
He knows she doesn't hate him, as much as she knows he doesn't hate her.  
  
The press of his swollen lips against hers was so gentle that Rey feels herself struggle against the feelings his kiss awakens in her.

She had wanted to be loved her entire life, wanted to love someone in return. She wanted to know that she wouldn't be left and know that the other one wouldn't want her to leave either. She had wanted that with Ben and still did - despite them being enemies and despite him being a mean jerk.  
  
He kisses her again, as gently as a feather and she feels a sob tear itself from her throat. She hates it.  
  
Another press of lips to her cheek, another one to the corner of her eye, her eyelid and at last her forehead.  
  
“I have thought about you every day.” He begins between kisses. “I have thought about hunting you, forcing your walls down, keeping you my prisoner, chained to my bed, bound to me. I have thought endlessly about every single thought we had shared, every time you had looked at me, every time I have touched you. I have thought about your boldness, your naivety, your loneliness, and your voice. And against my better judgment, against my teachings, somehow each thought led me to believe that if you hated me, I would have to let you be. That if you didn't want me, then I wouldn't force you. So I let you go.” He stops kissing her, now just calmly regarding at her. “And I think I have been a fool for doing so.”  
  
“No, you did the right thing,” Rey whispers.

He laughs at that. “What good is doing the right thing, when it doesn't get you what you want? And you still want me. You want me the way I want you.”  
  
He shifts his hips, the tip of his cock now right at her entrance.

“I don't care about doing the right thing, Rey. I only care about you.”  
  
And with that, he enters her.  
  
It isn't that he is much bigger than the dildo, or that the penetration feels harsh – but having him inside her knocks the wind out of her.

The sensation of them both being one, physically coming together like this, is so intense and overwhelming, she has a hard time focusing on anything else except the hammering in her chest and her frenzied breathing. Ben seems to be in a similar state, as he pants above her, somehow still managing to lick and kiss her neck, while relentlessly fucking her into the mattress.  
  
Each snap of his hips forces his cock right into the spot she needs him to hit, as if his cock has been specifically made for her, shaped the way that would hit her sweet spot oh so perfectly.  
  
She can feel the waves crashing around her again, threatening to swallow her up, suffocate her under their intensity, his intensity.  
  
And when she finally is swallowed by the endless ocean that is their bond, she feels like she wishes she would drown. She never wants to emerge from this space where there is only pleasure and them. She can hear him shout her name distantly, and the following groan as he shatters too.  
  
Rey doesn't know how much time has passed. They have been lying there for a while, listening to each other's breaths while both trying to calm their own.  
  
It is Ben who speaks first.

“I am coming to get you.”

Rey responds.

“Okay.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> “Oh, and Rey? If you wanted my cock so badly, you could've just asked. You didn't have to go out of your way to buy The Supreme Dildo.” 
> 
> __________________________________________________
> 
> Ayyy, did you guys catch the Sackler reference?


End file.
